Queen dowager
Hedwig Eleonora enjoyed great respect as queen dowager. She focused more on the administration of her dower lands and the upbringing of her son rather than to politics. In her upbringing of her son Charles XI, she focused on religion and moral and physical training and athletics rather than on academic studies, and she has been criticized for having spoiled him by not having forced him to attend to his studies. Although she herself was interested in culture and the sciences, she put no demands on him and allowed him to skip his studies: as he had a frail health during childhood, she found it more important for him to strengthen his body, and to discipline his moral by studies of religion.
In 1661, Hedwig Eleonora was considered a possible wife for King Charles II of England. Nothing came of it, however, as she refused the proposal: the official ground for her refusal was that she claimed that she wished to remain faithful to her dead husband.
In 1667, the young nobleman Count Carl Gyllenstierna (1649–1723), was made chamberlain to Hedwig Eleonora. He became her favourite, served as her courier during the Scanian War, was promoted General-Governor of her dower lands in 1679 and was given the title of count in 1687. Carl Gyllenstierna was the favourite of Hedwig Eleonora and has been pointed out as her lover, and although this is not confirmed, his swift career at court was attributed to his good looks. There is a legend that the residence of Gyllenstierna, Steninge Palace, was built with a secret passage from his bedroom to the bedroom in the so-called Queen's Wing, which was used by Hedwig Eleonora during her frequents visits. During her later years, Hedwig Eleonora was criticized for her favourite, Anna Catharina von Bärfelt, whose influence led to an open conflict with Gyllenstierna. Bärfelt was known for taking bribes from supplicants to the queen dowager and rumoured to steal from her. Gyllenstierna made an ultimatum and asked Hedwig Eleonora to choose between him and Bärfelt, which eventually led to Bärfelt being banished from court after Gyllenstierna had formed an alliance with Christina Piper, Beata Sparre, the mistress of the robes Märta Berendes, Arvid Horn and the court chaplain Molin. The night before her departure, Gyllenstierna had to door to Hedwig Eleonora's bedroom locked to prevent Bärfelt from contacting the queen dowager.
Hedwig Eleonora corresponded with her German relatives and often entertained them as guests: she raised her niece Magdalena Sibylla of Hesse-Darmstadt as her foster child, as well as her late husband's niece, Juliana of Hesse-Eschwege. The latter was long unofficially understood to be the future queen by marriage to Charles XI when he became an adult, but the plan was abandoned when Juliana gave birth to a child outside of marriage (1672). Hedwig Eleonora had Juliana sent to the country side, but when she had a second child, she was forcibly married to the father and expelled.
Hedwig Eleonora had a very close relationship with her son, Charles XI, who “kept himself to her completely and unreservedly”.
She accompanied him during his trips around the country, and during the Scanian war, she often stayed in Vadstena, where he visited her from the war front, to be closer to him.
Even after her son's marriage to Ulrike Eleonora of Denmark, she essentially kept her position as the first lady of the court.
Charles XI referred to his mother as “The Queen” or “Her Majesty the Queen My Dear Lady Mother” and to Ulrike Eleonora simply as "My Wife". Foreign ambassadors, mindful of this, always paid their respects to Hedwig Eleonora first, and then to Ulrike Eleonora. The hostility between Holstein-Gottorp and Denmark also made the relationship between Hedwig Eleonora and her Danish daughter-in-law tense. Charles XI regularly discussed the affairs of state with his mother, and while it does not appear that she purposely influenced him, he respected her opinions and usually followed them.
Charles XI is believed to have been affected by his mother when he judged the Catechism of the Bishops Terseri, Spegel and Emporagi as heresy: it is known that Hedwig Eleonora especially disliked the catechism of Bishop Emporagi, because it defined women as property. Also Charles XI decisions in the area of rank and art is believed to be influenced by her.
Her grandson Charles XII had great respect for her. There is a well-known episode from the so-called Gottorp Fury, when Charles XII spent his time drinking and partying with his brother-in-law and her nephew Frederick IV, Duke of Holstein-Gottorp. On one occasion, Charles XII in a state of drunkenness encountered his grandmother, upon which she gave him a long look and then turned her back to him. He reacted by emptying his cup and saying: “My Gracious Lady Grandmother is pleased to forgive me. From hereafter I will never more drink wine”, a promise he kept.
During the Great Northern War, she represented her absent grandson and received the foreign ambassadors in his place. According to their reports, she treated them with silence or could laugh at them.
Hedwig Eleonora was closest to her elder granddaughter, Hedwig Sophia, and after the death of Hedwig Sophia, she supported Hedwig Sophia's son, Charles Frederick, Duke of Holstein-Gottorp, as heir to the throne after Charles XII before her younger granddaughter, Ulrika Eleonora.
The supporters of Charles Frederick also wished to have Hedwig Eleonora appointed regent during the minority of Charles Frederick, should he succeed. In 1713, however, she was forced to persuade Ulrika Eleonora to accept the position of regent during the absence of Charles XII. She supported the marriage of Ulrika Eleonora to Frederick of Hesse with the thought that Ulrika Eleonora would then move to Hesse, which would make it easier for Charles Frederick to succeed to the Swedish throne.
Hedwig Eleonora has been described as firm and dominant; she was popular at court for her humour and because of her fondness of parties, and was regarded as strict but fair by her employees. Among Hedwig Eleonora's interests were architecture and painting, as well as playing cards; her appetite for gambling was great, and she is reported to have continued playing well into the night. When her mourning period officially ended in 1663, the court was overwhelmed with parties hosted by the queen dowager. As part of the festivities, she opened the theatres Bollhuset and Lejonkulan. She also acquired the first spa in Sweden, Medevi (1688). She sponsored artists, such as Nicodemus Tessin the Younger and David Klöcker Ehrenstrahl.
