Married life
The Pendarveses left for Roskrow Castle near Falmouth in west Cornwall in April; once settled, Mrs Pendarves was able to enjoy the views that Roscrow offered, and was able to spend time riding. Mr Pendarves's gout grew worse as the year progressed, and in the second year of their marriage, Mrs Pendarves was forced to nurse her ailing husband, and pass her time sewing and painting flowers. In 1721, the two took a house in London and there, though Mr Pendarves began to drink excessively, Mrs Pendarves was reunited with many of her old friends. In 1725, Mr Pendarves died suddenly in his sleep. He had not altered his will after his marriage, and so Mrs Pendarves did not inherit what remained of his estate. "Mr. Pendarves, concerned with the bottle that allowed him to forget the loss of part of his fortune, had had no time to consider settling the rest of it on his wife."
Despite her lack of resources, widowhood provided new opportunities for Mrs Pendarves. Widows, unlike unmarried women, were able to move freely in society, and for the first time in her life, Mrs Pendarves was able to pursue her own interests without the oversight of any man. Perhaps because of her own unhappy marriage, she was not satisfied with the options available to women in the 18th century. She wrote: Why must women be driven to the necessity of marrying? a state that should always be a matter of choice! and if a young woman has not fortune sufficient to maintain her in the situation she has been bred to, what can she do, but marry? Mrs Pendarves was later described thus: "She judged everything and everybody for herself; and, while ridiculing all empty-headed or vain insipidity, whether fashionable or eccentric, was always ready to applaud the unusual, if sincere and worthy. She was eager in the acquisition of knowledge of all kinds to the end of her life".
After her first husband's death Mrs Pendarves spent time living with various relatives and friends. In the 1730s she leased a home in Upper Brook Street, from where she wrote some of her noted letters.
A wealthy friend, the Duchess of Portland, included Mary in her artistic and scientific "Hive" where she met Joseph Banks, the botanist, and she visited his home to see samples and drawings from his travels with Captain Cook. She bred plants, drew and portrayed with paper mosaics and needlework these exotic flora.
To begin with, she lived with her aunt and uncle Stanley, and after her aunt's death, she spent time in Ireland with the family of her friend Mrs Donellan. In Ireland, Mrs Pendarves made the acquaintance of Dr Patrick Delany, an Irish clergyman who was already married to a rich widow, Margaret Tenison. It was not until 1743, two years after the death of his first wife, that on a trip to London Dr Delany proposed to Mrs Pendarves, much to the dismay of her family. They were married in June 1743.
The Delanys passed a year in London before moving to Dublin, where Dr Delany had a home. They also rented Mount Panther in County Down and during their first year in the house, Patrick was made Dean of Down. Both husband and wife were interested in botany and gardening: "Their mutual pleasure in their garden at Delville near Dublin in particular, his encouragement of her gardening, painting, shell-work and needlework resulted in a surge of activity in a variety of media in all of which the basic theme was the flower, whether in stocking the Delville garden, painting garden landscapes, decorating interiors with shells, or working embroideries." After twenty-five years of marriage, most of it spent in Ireland, Dr Delany died in Bath, England, on 6 May 1768 at the age of 84, and Mrs Delany, now 68, found herself again a widow.
