Plot
Hotel tycoon Donald Sinclair devises a game to entertain the high rollers who visit his Las Vegas casino: six competitors are to race to Silver City, New Mexico, where $2 million is inside a duffel bag in a train station locker. The racers consist of ne'er-do-well brothers Duane and Blaine Cody; businesswoman Merrill Jennings and her mother Vera; disgraced football referee Owen Templeton; tourist Randy Pear and his family; narcoleptic Italian tourist Enrico Pollini; and no-nonsense attorney Nick Schaffer.
Duane and Blaine destroy the airport's radar, which grounds everybody else but wrecks their vehicle in the process, prompting them to rent another. They decide to split up to better their chances and have a locksmith create a duplicate locker key, but the locksmith overhears their plan and makes off with the key in a hot air balloon. The brothers catch up to the locksmith, leaving him and a stray cow hanging from the balloon's anchor rope. After Blaine gets distracted by two women driving beside them on the road, he and Duane veer off into a monster truck rally, where they steal one of the trucks after their rental car is crushed.
Merrill and Vera are given malicious directions by a woman selling squirrels on the side of the road, and crash into a pile of totaled vehicles with the skeletons of her previous victims. After stumbling through the Mojave Desert, they hijack a rocket car until it runs out of fuel. Left nauseous by the car's extreme speed, Merrill and Vera accidentally stumble onto a busload of mental patients headed for Silver City.
Owen has his pants and other belongings stolen by a taxi driver as revenge for a bad call Owen previously made at a football game, which caused the driver to lose a bet. Stumbling across a bus station, he dupes and impersonates the driver of a bus on the way to transport a group of Lucille Ball cosplayers to an I Love Lucy fan convention. On the way to the convention, Owen accidentally hits the cow dangling from the hot air balloon and crashes the bus. After revealing he is not the real driver and escaping from the cosplayers, Owen steals a horse.
Randy forces his daughter Kimberly to defecate out of their minivan's window to avoid stopping; as revenge, she insists they visit a museum dedicated to Nazi officer Klaus Barbie, mistakenly believing it to be about Barbie dolls. The family steals Adolf Hitler's staff car after seeing their minivan sabotaged by Duane and Blaine, only to be confronted by an all-female biker gang. Randy drives his family into a large gathering for World War II veterans after his tongue is accidentally burnt by the dashboard cigarette lighter, where the veterans are put off by his Hitler-like slurred speech and appearance. Later, at a diner where his family insists they end the trip, Randy slips sleeping pills into their milkshakes and packs them into a semi-trailer truck.
Nick initially decides not to participate, but changes his mind when he meets Tracy, a pilot who offers him a lift in her helicopter. On the way, Tracy decides to visit her boyfriend Shawn, only to catch him cheating on her with another woman in his backyard. After attacking and chasing Shawn into the desert, Tracy and Nick steal Shawn's pickup truck after their helicopter runs out of fuel.
Enrico sleeps while standing up in the hotel lobby, and wakes up hours later. He gets a ride from Zack, an ambulance driver delivering a transplant heart to El Paso who offers Enrico a lift to avoid being sued by Gloria Allred, who witnessed Zack hitting Enrico with his van. On the way, Enrico accidentally drops the heart out of the window and it is stolen by a stray dog, which then gets electrocuted by an electric fence. Deeming the heart unusable, Zack decides to kill Enrico to replace the missing heart, but Enrico escapes by jumping onto a passing train, where he drops his locker key in a baby's diaper and is mistaken for a pedophile by the parents while retrieving it. He gets thrown out at the Silver City station and becomes the first racer to reach the locker, only to fall asleep before opening it.
The other racers arrive in Silver City and fight to open the locker, only to find it empty. Outside, Sinclair's assistant Harold Grisham and call girl Vicki run off with the money, but the locksmith appears and maneuvers the balloon to drop the cow on Grisham and Vicki. The balloon then flies into a Smash Mouth charity concert, where the band and crowd mistake the money for a donation. When the racers see what a global difference they could make, they have a change of heart and donate all the money. When Sinclair and his patrons arrive, Nick horrifies them by announcing they will match the money raised. The racers celebrate with the band by dancing and crowd surfing while a distraught Sinclair sees the total donations shooting past $19 million.
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