The Craig Machine

The Craig Machine is a live album by comedian Stephen Lynch, released on October 4, 2005 on What Are Records?. The CD was recorded live at Symphony Space in New York City on May 9 and 16, 2005. The Craig Machine debuted at #2 on Billboard Magazine'''s Comedy Charts and #129 on the Billboard 200, his only entry to date. The title is lifted from a lyric from the fifth track on the album, which is from the point of view of Jesus Christ's brother, Craig. The quoted lyric asks of the listener "not 'What Would Jesus Do?' but 'Where will you be when the Craig Machine comes partyin' through?'" Songs and Lyrics "Vanilla Ice Cream" – The narrator prefers dating dark skinned women, but declares he is not a racist; "some of my best friends are white." Reviewer Dylan P. Gadino praised the song: "In the galloping 'Vanilla Ice Cream,' a sort of love song to African-American women Lynch sings, 'If you're a honky, you're singing the wrong key." "Baby" – Gadino wrote, "The most offensive song, "Baby" — wherein the song's subject hopes his ugly newborn gets SIDS — is also the catchiest. We dare you not to sing the chorus." "Little Tiny Moustache" – While on a European tour, Lynch told the audience, "It's so funny, you know, I've played that song twice now in Europe; and you guys just get it. And back in the States, people get all fuckin' freaked out when I mention the Nazi, and they think that it's like this weird, pro-Nazi song; and it's so the opposite! It's obviously about a guy who is just too stupid to realize that his girlfriend is a Nazi." Gadino wrote, "One of the more absurdly themed songs, 'Little Tiny Moustache,' about dating a Nazi woman who 'quoted Mein Kampf in our fifth anniversary card' is also the most musically delicate, beautiful song on Machine."